Comments for Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

I can’t do this

I apologise for this, I was in a rough patch career wise having been let go from Hogwarts, and was also generally misled about the general tone of the film.

I’m keepin my eye on Flyswatter

UNGH

Is a nude bat calendar

The kid talked like a frosted flake, but she had the nicest set of knockers I’ve seen in quite a while.

Sorry I got stuck in traffic. Has the movie started yet?

Fossil fuels - not the violent, cult-following hookers - are the true antagonists of the story. The protagonist would have died 40 mins in had the chainsaw not run out of gasoline, clearly referencing the inevitability of peak oil. Fossil fuels were even the demise of the cult leader, when he gave their captive a working chainsaw full of gasoline. Her knockers were symbolic of alternative energy. Wind and solar - the ultimate pair of knockers - were already knocking at the door of the 1980s.

Little known fact about non-verbal communication: you can often tell that someone is sexually interested in you if they aggressively stick their finger in your drink